Wednesday, May 21, 2008

David Archuleta...DOGGY STYLE!!

Straight Guy for David Archuleta reader Mikey E, from Dallas, Texas writes:

"Last night I was at the final performance of American Idol and thought David Archuletta rocked the Nokia theatre!  That's why they moved the final from the Kodak Theatre to the Nokia Theatre!  The small Kodak theatrea couldn't hold all of the roaring David Archuleta maniacs who cheered him on to victory!!!!  

Anyway, I am at the hotel, and I see Paula Abdul.  She's hot.  I would totally do her.  Straight up and Doggy Style!

Speaking of dogs.  Check out this picture of David with this dog.  That puppy rocks.  It's more kick ass than any Rotty out there.  Anyway, David Archuleta will win!!!!

I haven't been this pumped since I nailed two chicks in the same month back in 1997.  Fist pumps for Coors Light!  Cheers D.A.  My American Idol.  When you turn 18, I'll take you to a strip club to look at jugs."

Monday, May 19, 2008

Anti-Straight Guy for David Archuleta writer Harlon P from Lexington, Kentucky writes:

"This site is BULLS**T!  All you are doing is promoting that no talent boy toy David Archuleta and not giving any love to Mr. Electricity, David Cook!

On behalf of the other fans of David Cook, I say Go F**K  yourself Straight Guys for David Archuleta!  

I planned on being in Los Angeles to protest the show, but I got into a fight in the bathroom at my church and now I need some dental work before I can do any type of traveling or protesting!   God Bless American, but not American Idol!!! 

The Babies Are Almost Here!!!!

Straight Guy for David Archuleta reader Nat M, from Bound Brook, New Jersey writes:

"As a straight guy who is a huge fan of David Archuleta and America's favorite pet (in the small creature family), I want to make an offer to David Archuleta!  

After you finish up with the American Idol tour where you will HEADLINE THAT BEEE-OTCH because you will be the American Idol,  I have an offer for you.

Swing by my condo in Bound Brook, New Jersey and I'll give you a FREE FERRET!!!  Here's the deal.  My ferret, Fantasia, is about to give birth.  I am willing to give you one of the babies!!!  Currently, the babies are gonna be mine, but if you wanna be my babies daddy, let me know!!!  I'm a few blocks down from the Carvel."

A Young Archuleta?

Straight Guys for David Archuleta reader Nixon F writes:

"Let me start off by saying that this season was the first season of American Idol that I have ever seen and I was immediately smitten (not in that way silly) by the out of this world talent that comes pouring out of David Archuleta!  My grandchildren even think that I looked like D.A. when I was younger, in the Navy, and still dating their Grandmother (God Rest Her Soul).  

Do you see the resemblance? I don't.  David is a far better looking young lad.  Don't ya think?

As we used to say in my sailor days, he who sings like a young bird will wake up with his beak in all the right places!  Take it to the bank David Archuleta!  You will be idol forever!  This is from your oldest SGFDA, Nixon.  Age 82.

All Dressed Up For David Archuleta!

Straight Guy for David Archuleta reader Alex V, of Del Ray Beach, Florida writes: 

"Not only do I think David Archuleta will be the next American Idol, but he's gonna get so many more babes than David Cook would EVER get.  I went to my local costume shop and used part of my tax rebate (Thanks President Bush!!) and bought this costume of what I think David Cook looks like!  HA HA LOL.  He's ugly!!  He's got a big nose!    

Go David!  Go David!  Woot Woot!" 


Nice Party!! Where was MY invite??

Lupe from Granite Bay, California writes:

"So, the other day, I'm hanging out with my friends at our annual Nurses in Bikinis house party (see photo) and I bet my friend that David Archuleta would win American Idol.  He was a big fan of Michael Johns.  Anyway, he started smoking pot and then doing shots of something called a Cherry Bomb.  He got so wasted that he stripped down to just his jeans and tried to kiss my feet. (thinking the bet was over and he lost!!)   What's funny is, the best wasn't for him to kiss my feet, it was to give me a massage!  He is so gay.  By the way, that chick in the picture is his sister!  Oh yeah.  I banged her.  Go D.A.  You rock!  Straight guys for David Archuleta is the bomb!"

Watch out David Cook, this SGFDA has a nasty right hook!


Straight Guys for David Archuleta reader Larry "Knux" O'Donnell of Flint, Michigan writes:

"David Cook better watch his ass.  David Archuleta is the next American Idol!  If that little pansy boy Cook some how pulls out an upset, I will find a shirt to put on, tighten my watch band, and mess up his pretty boy hair and face with my trust brass knux.  FYI:  I nicknamed my brass knux "The Knux-alettas" in honor of my boy and yours, David Archuleta!!"