Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Oh Ricky (says to David Archuleta) You're So Fine!!!


Straight guy for David Archuleta reader Ricky V. writes:

"He made it! He made it! He made it!! David Archuleta made it to the top 10!!!!!! Straight guys rejoice!!! Our boy is now...the MAN!!! Ryan was so F'n right! Get used to the babes screaming your name, because soon, it won't be just us straight guys screaming for ya!!! (in a totally straight way, like dude, you rock). Soon the chicks will be all up in that yo!

Don't think I'm telling you the truth?  S**t due, listen to this!  See the hottie in the picture I attached?  That's my woman.  Say it with me!  WUUUUU-MAN.  A few years ago, I was young and and having trouble meeting girls, but I made some changes!  

First, I got myself a dog!  Her name is Lucifer, and trust me, when we walk.  The hotties stare.  Second, I realized that I needed to start over with my look.  I trimmed my beard and cut off my dreads.  Then I went out and bought myself a pair of black leather boots.  I am not saying the boots did all the work, but the third night I wore my boots to karaoke night, I met my girl and lost my virginity to her on my velvet couch.  

Anyway, D.A., if you are reading this, it's all good in the hood brother!  Not only will you become the next American Idol, but you will be rollin with the hotties.   Love ya man, in a straight guy way!  Love this site to!!!  Hope the shoulder feels better SGFDA.  

One last night.  I have a bet with my girl.  If I win, I get sex every night for a week!  I think she looks like Clay Aiken when he auditioned.  She doesn't think she looks like Clay.  What do you think??  Comment!!!!  I wanna get some booty.

David Archuleta is in the top 10!!!!

This just in!  David Archueleta has made it to the American Idol top 10!! Straight guys, that means that David will be on the American Idol live tour!  Only the top 10 makes it to the tour.  If you are a straight guy for David Archuleta, be proud of him because he is on his way to be the NEXT American Idol.  

Also, I wanted to apologize for not updating this site more frequently.  As many of you know, I recently broke my shoulder in a basketball accident.  While I was by myself when I fell, I was shooting hoops, so don't call me gay.  

I recently started physical therapy, and honestly, dealing with the pain of my shoulder, and the stress of watching American Idol and waiting for the results after last week's rough performance has been a lot for me to deal with.  David Archuleta is still alive!!  

Ok, it's time to go to bed and dream about the American Idol top 10...INCLUDING David Archuleta!!!  Now, before you start to think I'm not straight, the type of dream I am talking about is one where David and I are hanging out, checking out Brooke White's ass, while drinking shots of tequila, and reading Sports Illustrated.  

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Straight Guys Rejoice! Our David is safe!


I fell asleep last night and missed the elimination show on Idol.  When I woke up, I heard that David had been sent home.  My first reaction?   Crap!  I put all this time into this website and he's off the show!!!  When I found out that David Hernandez was the one to get the boot, I was THRILLED!!!   
Let's compare the two David's.  Hernandez, singer, male stripper, male lapdances, off American Idol.  Archuleta, singer, male, too young to get a lap dance, still on American Idol.  
It goes to show you that maybe morals do matter when it comes to what America wants in an Idol.  If you want to know what America wants in a lap dance, ask David Hernandez.  He's got some free time on his hands.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

No BLT for me!


Ok, Straight Guys for David Archuleta...we have to be honest.  Last night, David didn't hit a home run. In fact, he committed the cardinal sin.  David forgot the words to his song.  All together now, "It wasn't a good performance."

Luckily for D.A., straight guys across the country love him!  He should be able to sneak through to the top 11.  It wouldn't shock this straight guy to see him land in the bottom two.

What can we do now?  We can pass the message above, around to everybody we know to inspire others.  I am not 100% sure what the message means, but it contains to words "forgetful," "entertain," "entertained," and "Hebrews."

Last night David was all of the above except a Hebrew.  I have that part covered and to help inspire David on to greatness, I suggest all straight guys for David Archuleta stop eating pork until he hits the top 10!  We can do it!!   

Monday, March 10, 2008

The next American Idol??? Not yet say Randy and Paula!

MTV has a story about American Idol and in the article,  Randy and Paula say David Archuleta isn't a lock to win!

I know that you straight guys for David Archuleta feel differently!  That is why you are here, right?




We're here!  We're not queer!  Cheers to D.A., now let's drink a beer!!

Hot Chick of the Day!!!

Straight Guy for David Archuleta reader Raj K. writes:

"My girlfriend Sheila thinks this is a bad picture of her.  You are a straight guy for David Archuleta.  What do you think?"

Well, if I'm being honest here (I sound like Simon), I find this picture to be dreadful.  I'm not sure that being  upside down, in the ever so sexy "look, I'm dead and bloated" position is the best look for her. 

I really need better submissions for the Hot Chick of the Day feature.  If not, I am going to get rid of it and never look back.  Oh by the way, are those Seven jeans?  No?  Ohhh, they are 22's?  

The Bald, The Beautiful, The Straight for Archuleta

Straight Guy for David Archuleta reader Seth W. writes:
"I am writing in because I wanted to see if the people who are writing in are for real.  My name is Seth and I am from Hartford, CT.  My friends give me crap for watching American Idol.  I don't have the guts to tell them that I like David Archuleta.  It's nice to know that there are others out there like me who can appreciate a sensitive young boy with a voice sent from god himself.  Also, another reason I am writing in is because my old lady was going through a box of old pictures and she found a picture of me when I was D.A.'s age.   She thinks I look like him.   That should get me some action!  BOOOOO-YAAAAAHHHH.  I'd write more but I wanna go watch Ellen.  I have it on Tivo.  Yup.  This straight guy is for Ellen as well as David Archuleta."

Spitzer or Swallow.

Today, news broke that New York Governor, Elliot Spitzer was implicated in a prostitution ring.  "Number 9" as he is being referred to supposedly had a high class hooker sent from Washington, DC to New York City.  At the end of the encounter, the Governor gave the woman (not pictured to the right) almost $5000.  

Now, for the record, I think prostitution should be made legal.  Nobody is forced to buy canned corn.  Nobody would ever be forced to buy a prostitute.  Disease?  If you are one of the lucky ones who has caught the flu this season, I doubt you got it from a hooker.   You know why?  You aren't Elliot Spitzer! You didn't buy a hooker!  You are a straight guy for David Archuleta!  You aren't a straight guy who needs to pay for sex.  Leave that to the leaders of our country.

What makes this scandal so great is that Governor Spitzer has been shown to be a hypocrite of republican standards.  Now, I know all republicans aren't hypocrites, but Spitzer is the first Democrat in a long time to get caught up in a sex scandal.  I doubt that Democrats are any less kinky than Republicans.  I just think that more Democrats are better at covering their asses. (unlike the hooker in the picture above)

Spitzer has gone after all sorts of morality issues.  He has gone after the radio industry.  He has busted prostitution rings.  He put himself out there as Captain Good Guy, but in the end, he turned out to be a dirtbag just like most of us.  

I've never paid for sex.  The thing is, we all have some sort of secret thing that we've done and we hope nobody ever finds out about.  Sadly, we live in a world where we are told that doing things behind closed doors that others wouldn't accept makes you a bad person.  

I don't care what you do behind closed doors.   Just don't make yourself out to be the judge and jury of what's wrong and what's right, because eventually, somebody is going to find out that you paid for sex, fondled a chimp, or took a picture up an old ladies dress while she shopped for croutons in the salad dressing isle at the grocery store. 

The day that happens, you will know what it's like to be the rest of us.  No, not because we're fondling animals or violating old ladies.  You will feel like the rest of us, because you will know what it's like to be judged.

Sorry for getting so serious.  Go David Archuleta.  Elliot Spitzer, go to hell.


The ladies love my 13 inches!!!

Straight Guy for David Archuleta reader Ed E. writes:

"I just celebrated two big anniversaries in my life.  The first is that I just turned 28 years old.  The second is that last Thursday marked one year that I have been living in my own apartment!  As a straight guy, it was always hard to convince the babes to come back to my place when my place was also my parents place, and my grandparents place. My mommy is a caregiver for the elderly, so when my pop pop and nanny grams couldn't take care of themselves, they moved into the guest bedroom.  While I was always looked at as being sensitive for staying so close to my family, I wasn't looked at as the straight guy sex machine that I always knew I was on the inside.  Ok, so now that I am on my own, I like to invite the ladies over to my place every night to watch tv.  When it comes to getting action, I don't think it should come as any surprise that I get the most action on American Idol nights.  Straight guys, here is a tip.  Tell the chicks you bring back to your place that you like David Archuleta, and that futon won't stay in couch position for long if you know what I am talking about.  That kid is booty gold.  I love David Archuleta and I am not ashamed to admit it!  Oh by the way, I am saving my money and I'm only a few months (maybe 9) away from being able to up my game by buying a second pair of designer jeans, a new belt buckle, and a flat screen TV to replace my current 13 incher.  No big deal though, because the chicks dig my 13 incher.  Yeah baby, do I make you horny?  Love Austin Powers!  Love David Archuleta!"

Um.  Mommy? 

Friday, March 7, 2008

The real Hot Chick of the Day??

Straight Guy for David Archuleta reader Gene C from Dickson City, Pennsylvania writes:

"Yo!  You straight guys for David Archuleta, I read the most recent post with that chick with the big ass hair and ugly dress.  The girl Thundercat was brought up.  As a straight guy for David Archuleta, and a HUGE MEGA Thundercats fan, I wanted to tell you that the female Thundercat has a name, not just a nice rack.  Her name is Cheetara and for a Thundercat, she was smoking hot.  I think she should be the hot chick of the day.  I mean, dudes, check out that hot blonde hair, the toned sexy legs, the rockin porno boots, and a rack that would make Smurfette jealous!  (I got a thing for cartoon chicks.)  This one time, at bandcamp...just joking.   Love the site!  D.A. all the way!!"

**Editors note** The hot chick of the day will not be a cartoon girl.  Sometimes freaky is too freaky in my opinion.  Also, WTF does the bandcamp joke have to do with anything?**

Final 12!!!

Last night, David Archuleta made it to the final 12!  
Here's to you!!!  Some Straight Guy shades for being a cool guy and one talented Mother F**cker.

FYI:  David is only 17 years old.  If he were 21, I would have said "cheers" with an icy cold Bud.  The beer us straight guys love more than sex.

Instead, he gets these Oakleys!  

Straight Guys Unite!  Keep voting for David Archuleta to be the next American Idol!!!!! 

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Going home? I hope not!!


Tonight, David Archuleta could go home on American Idol, but as leader of the Straight Guys for David Archuleta revolution, I have to say that if he does go home tonight after the performance he delivered this week, there is NO WAY he should go home.

If he does go home, I will launch a new website:

StraightGuysWhoThinkDavidArchuletaGotF**king Screwed.com

Good Luck David, from all the Straight Guys for David Archuleta!!

Hot Chick Of the Day??

















I've been getting a lot of e-mails for this site.  If you have any questions or comments about StraightGuysforDavidArchuleta.com, send them to:

StraightGuysforDavidArchuleta@yahoo.com

A few days ago, I posted a hot chick of the day.  I am not sure this will become a regular feature of this website, but if you are going to submit a picture, please make it good.  

No offense to Mike M, from South Sacramento, but your submission (see picture) for Hot Chick of the Day, was not for real, was it?  I understand that to somebody, she may be a catch, but most straight guys have an unofficial rule.  We're not attracted to a woman who's drink almost matches her dress.  Also, I'm not trying to be rude, but if she goes out of the house with the hair on her HEAD looking like that, can you imagine the jungle of fun that lurks in the darker regions of her personal vacation location...if you know what I mean?  

Am I the only one who is more attracted to the girl Thundercat?  

On behalf of all Straight Guys For David Archuleta, I officially denounce and reject your submission for Hot Chick of the Day.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Something in common with everybody!

Straight Guy For David Archuleta reader Tino K writes:

"Every season I have something in common with somebody from American Idol!  My last name is Kelly, just like Kelly Clarkson.  I used to weigh over 500lbs like Ruben Studdard.  People often think I am gay, like Clay because I have a thing for purple polo shirts (I am straight though).  I am a delivery guy for a lumber supply store, so I am always carrying wood.  When it's on my shoulder, I'm under wood,  Just like Carrie Underwood.  See?  Oh there is more!  All of my body hair (except on my head) is gray like Taylor Hicks.  My favorite football team is the New York (world champs) Giants.  Jordan's dad played for my team!  

Tonight, I found out that I have something in common with David Archuleta (this straight guy's favorite!!!).  We both play the piano!!!!!  (see the attached photo for proof).  

So, this season, for the first time since season two, I have something in common with TWO contestants!!!  I play the piano like (my favorite) David Archuleta, and my middle name is Chikezie. 

Thanks for the site and a big thanks for giving a voice to all of the straight guys for David Archuleta.  Gotta go now.  I need to shine up my kicks.  I got a smudge of mud on the top of my right shoe today while dropping off some 2X4's to some smokin' babe who needed wood."

Wanna hang out in paradise??


It's Another Day for You and Me (and a bunch of chicks in bikinis) in Paradise

I gotta know.  Am I the only straight guy out there to hear David Archuleta sing "Another Day In Paradise" and think to themselves...

"I would LOVE to be stuck in paradise with David Archuleta!"

Of course, we'd have a ton of hot chicks, beer, and a barrel of NERF footballs at our disposal."



Gay Male Stripper? No, not David Archuleta, but David...

If you missed the news, it surfaced today, that Idol contestant David Hernandez was a stripper at a club called "Dick's Cabaret!"  Not only was David a stripper, but he was a stripper who got FULLY NUDE!  

Where would you put the money?  Ok, don't answer that.

As the story goes, David had the right look and made a lot of money giving men fully nude lap dances.

Let me make it clear that this is not a homophobic website.  In fact, this website is the exact opposite.  I am trying to show the world that you don't have to be gay to support a sensitive sounding singer like David Archuleta.

On the other hand, I am fairly certain that you have to have some level of gayness in you to swing your happy parts in a bar full of men.  There are rumors that women also frequented "Dick's Cabaret", but the last time I checked, and trust me, I've asked, women typically don't like seeing guys dance around naked.

The female body is sexy when it's naked.  The male body is floppy and awkward.  Today, I described the naked male body as a muppet.  Furry and floppy.  

Ok, that's enough talk about the naked male genitalia.  I need to get my straight on.  I'm gonna go work out.  There is an eliptical machine with my name on it at the gym.

Hot Activity of the Day

I am not sure if we will update the Hot Activity of the Day everyday, but as a straight man, I wanted to put this out there for other SGFDA.

Pilates is hot.  

FYI: American Idol tonight!  Make sure you vote for David Archuleta!!!!  

An oldie but a goodie!

Straight Guy for David Archeleta reader Clark W writes:

"I'm a reporter for a local tv station and when I saw your website, I was THRILLED!  As an American Idol fan, and a straight man who is a fan of David Archuleta, I feel like this site is totally needed!  Ironically, today, I was out searching for the oldest fan of David.  I found him!  His name is Hubert, and I found him walking through the park this afternoon.  He told me I was a pretty little girl and that he wanted to grab my pumpkins.  I wasn't sure what that means, so I asked him to repeat himself.  He opened his jacket and flashed his genitals at me.  I'll be honest, I wasn't turned on.  I am straight after all.  The craziest thing is that just above his twig and berries, freshly written in marker, it said, 'I LOVE GIRLS AND I LOVE DAVID ARCHULETA BASED ONLY ON HIS SINGING TALENT.'  That's right!  Hubert is also a straight guy for David Archuleta!!!!"  

I wish I could say this story was shocking, but we are getting reports of many elderly, straight men, writing messages of support to DA on their bodies.  David Archuleta is the Idol contestant for young and old straight men!!!